Accept that it happened. Considering his point of view doesn't excuse his behavior. Is he happy in general or is he bitter and cold to everyone who dares to cross his path? If you feel like you are in a loveless marriage or with a husband that does not care about how you feel and upsets you a lot, leave your story and comments below. Individually, sit down and write out what, specifically you can do each month, then each week to hit your targets. I grew up thinking that men don't need to say much. I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. When I confronted him, he denied it and started arguing with me. It means he does know when your anniversaries are, he is just choosing not to acknowledge them. Before she died, she instilled in me that a man will ALWAYS betray, eventually, as my father certainly did to her. Talk to him about how and why his actions hurt you so that he can at least try to address the problems that you have raised with him. Here we look at a number of things it can mean when your husband has been making you feel he doesn't love or care about you or your marriage anymore. "Neglect cannot exist with love in a marriage. Open Letter To The Person Who Hurt Me The Most. He doesn't seem to understand how his affair has negatively affected and hurt me and continues to do so. Now, lets find out how you can salvage the relationship (if you still want to, that is). Some goals might be: to grow closer together, stop arguing as much, set aside a certain amount in savings, plan for your kids' college education. People still don't take the route of divorce because they just don't want a failed marriage behind them or may even stay together for financial reasons or, as previously mentioned, as they have children together. A good way to survive mentally if you feel your husband doesn't care about you is simply to stay busy. It floored me. Things like looking at you when you come home after a day's working or going to give you a kiss when you walk in the front door are all very positive signs that love is still present in a marriage. Take it or leave it.". As you do, you can ask God to ease your pain. He hurts me even more." If there is one dominant theme I hear from women who have been hurt emotionally by their husbands, it is that when a wife tries to express to her husband how she has been hurt by something he did or said, he becomes defensive and hurts her even more. February 13, 2023, 12:22 pm, by Brad is the real deal when it comes to saving marriages. You see, my boyfriend hurt me emotionally way too often. As a couple, deciding what you want for your relationship and then charting a course to get there may seem even more foreign to you, especially if you've never had goals yourself. Make a vow to keep disagreements limited to the current issue. And as this behavior gets worse, you might start to feel like youve got no real say in anything. As a couple, spend some time together dreaming of your future. While this article explores the main warning signs that your husband hurts your feelings and doesnt care, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation. It takes up these three steps: 1. Before I discovered the Heros Instinct, I was stuck in a lot of relationships with men who didnt seem to care about me. In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation. That's the most important thing here," Trombetti says. You broke my heart and left deep scars that may never heal as well as I want them to. Being less affectionate is another clear indicator that theres love lost in the relationship. But the difference between a busy husband and an uncaring husband is the former will still let you know they miss you whereas the latter wont give it a second thought. "Please shut your mouth when you're talking to me." It's never, never okay to tell your partner that they should shut up. "Morgan and Kelsea's main issue was their disagreement about having kids.". The biggest challenge to any goal-getting program you have is the natural inclination to give up or to not keep at it. One of the nicest things about being in a marriage or relationship is when you are with someone for life who likes to spoil you on special occasions. 1. Naturally, they become more affectionate and devoted towards women who help them feel this way. It made me question my judgment, my marriage, and my ability to trust and to love. He's done and said things to me that have rocked me to the core. 1. Bearing that in mind, if your husband still spends too much time with his guy pals, then you may need to readdress the balance in your relationship. Grab Wedding Month Deals on Marriage Courses! If he truly respected you, he wouldnt dream of embarrassing or upsetting you in front of your friends and family. Looking for love and romance can be challenging. Its twice as bad because not only does he want to leave the relationship and move on with his life, hes also going to punish you until he finds the guts to do it. The point of this entire post is this: Until your husband, boyfriend, wife or girlfriend, demonstrates beyond doubt they can accurately articulate your point of view, you can safely conclude that THEY DON'T KNOW HOW YOU REALLY FEEL. It may be that you find a new hobby and new friends to concentrate on. Here's how you can do just that. This may be for a whole host of reasons, and could well be because your husband doesn't have the sunniest of dispositions, but if your husband never even cracks a smile when you walk in a room, it could be the sign of something going wrong within your marriage. You chose to hurt me when it is easy for you to put a smile on my face. Lets jump straight in with possible reasons why he doesnt seem to care anymore: For one reason or another, your husband acts as though he despises you. Specifically, it is linked to eliciting more support and a heightened sense of closeness and intimacy. Receive weekly tips & tricks to improve your love life. Now, you may be wondering why its called the hero instinct? Thus, whenever you are caught up in a similar circumstance, be vigilant to talk it out before you go off to sleep. It was wrong and I understand why it hurt you.-I realize now that I caused you pain, and I'm sorry.-I take full responsibility for my words/actions and I regret my behavior.-I care deeply about you, and I'm sorry for hurting you. You, the one person i never thought would hurt and betray me is the one who hurt me the most. We can help you find a great loving relationship! "To make one person the center of your world is bound to end in disaster. Clifton Kopp If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. However, the sooner you start addressing these issues, the sooner you can get back to feeling happy again. Mary hugged him and said, "I am not your mother.". If you're neglected and taken for granted, you're not loved.". With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences. Eastern University. Things got so bad one day after his usual interrogation of his wife, she just broke down crying asking him, "why he did not trust her." Here are some ways to approach the conversation that I found particularly helpful: And finally, if you want to learn something new and fix your marriage at the same time, you can try to trigger your husbands hero instinct. . Every partner who works along the lines of this school of thought shall be able to forgive their partner, for whatever reason they might have hurt you. Here is the correct way to handle the situation when your spouse hurts your feelings. You hurt me so badly, but I love you as much as I did when we first met. When your husband says hurtful words, probably you both (especially your spouse) are excessively emotional, and you both don't have the necessary clarity to make a weighty decision. Whatever you try though, remember that right now your husband is continually hurting your feelings and that is not ok. A very frustrating and hurtful reason for your husband to keep hurting your feelings is that he is a selfish human being. Brad Browning is the real deal when it comes to saving relationships, especially marriages. Fantasizing revenge is one of the byproducts of resentment we've all seen it portrayed in movies as if revenge is . You see, the more this negativity is projected onto you, the more you might start believing it to be true. You may focus on your job and your career. This final reason points towards an imbalance in your relationship. And has this left you feeling distressed and unhappy all the time? The key in maintaining a healthy relationship is not to avoid hurt feelings, but to know how to handle it when feelings get hurt. Almost always, they are just doing what they think they should do. Take accountability. There are several signs of a spirit that has been crushed or broken. And, as we looked at in the reasons above, theres the possibility that youve upset him, but it could also be that youve done nothing wrong and therefore his behavior is completely unjustified. Better yet, hold a fire ceremony, either alone or with your loved one. His lack of patience with Melinda and his hurtful comments are not her fault. When you don't express your feelings, the hurt can continue to grow. Whatever you do, you need to find pride in something and be proud to be you. In doing so, you may actually be making things worse for you both. It can get to the stage where anything that you do, if you are the one where your partner does not respect you, is wrong and incorrect. He doesn't allow it for the same reason he doesn't stop every bad thing that happens in this world. In our society, men are taught not to recognize and express troubled emotions brought on by middle age. He may not be aware he is doing this and if that is the case then you probably do not need to worry too much about the state of your relationship. He probably hopes that youll get fed up and leave him first, that way he can save face and look like the victim instead of the guy who left his wife. One reason for this is that no one wants to constantly be reminded of the pain that they have caused. Whatever you do, remember that just because your spouse doesn't care about your feelings, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't care about your feelings and your happiness as a result. If the two of you agree that you are no longer making each other happy and you no longer will have a happy life together, at least you are giving each other the opportunity to be happy outside of your married life. Access the best success, personal development, health, fitness, business, and financial advice.all for FREE! It may also be the case that you talk to him about his behavior and disrespect of your opinions, and he does not change at all. What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Your hurt heart deserves to let everything out. This is totally natural and very normal. 10. Don't Let It Fester If you respond to his snapping at you with anger, you may make the situation worse and not better. Did your partner cheat on you? It is unlikely that they are intentionally aggravating you. That is what makes them human. If he goes out of his way to push your buttons, he hasnt just stopped caring about you, he potentially hates you. Be accountable to each other and evaluate how you're progressing on your goals together. Narcissists are great at charming and wooing the subject of their interest, but once they get you, they quickly lose interest and the relationship can turn toxic. That is, of course, for you to decide. It can mean that he has all the power and simply takes you for granted. So, in the context of marriage or romantic relationships, if your husband has behaved or done something that has deeply hurt you and you feel like my husband hurt me deeply, your spirit may have been broken by your significant other. This primal instinct called the Heros Instinct appears to be held by most men - and it can have a huge impact on the way they treat you. "You're being ridiculous.". Another sign that may also mean that your husband is no longer in love with you is when he spends more time with his friends than with you. When we initially started dating he hardly lifted his head up. Hmmmm Can someone really MAKE me angry? However, in doing so, you will be giving rise to even more complications in the relationship. Even though it may be tough at first, the increased time will make you both start to know what is going on in each other's lives again, and if you are starting a new hobby together, it gives you a new common ground that can be what a marriage with emotional abandonment within it can need. Over time, you can end up wondering, Is it me, am I the problem?. Everyone wants to be happy. He immediately softened my husband's attitude towards me and we shared a long hug before he left for work. Only then will you be putting yourself first and breaking free from an unhappy, unhealthy relationship. The best way to find out whether this is the case or not is simply by observing him. But if he behaves this way with everyone then it could indicate that theres a deeper issue and it could be affecting his mental health. Sure, hell answer your questions with one-word replies and the occasional grunt. If hes unfaithful, theres no bigger sign to let you know that he wholeheartedly doesnt care about your feelings. In a healthy relationship, these buttons might get pressed on odd occasions, during a particularly nasty argument for example. You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. (Image credit: Marie Claire) By Jojo Maris. Now, thats not to say the odd critique wont slip out from time to time, but if its constantly happening, its clear he doesnt give a crap about your feelings. Prioritize yourself. When your husband says ugly and hurtful things to you on what seems like a daily basis, then what we have is a clear-cut story of emotional abuse. Emotional abandonment can be a tough thing to admit has happened to your marriage, but if you have ever thought 'my husband doesn't talk to me about anything' or 'my husband hurts my feelings and doesn't care', then it could well be that this is the status of your relationship. To complicate matters, my husband pushed me to the ground about 2 years ago during a fight and then slapped me in the face. 3. Except, both his efforts to change me and my efforts to change myself for him were futile. It can leave you with the feeling of confusion as this is probably very different to how he acted when you were first in love or dating. After a while, you end up tiptoeing around him. While many of you may think that after getting into a fight with your partner who has hurt you, the best option is to sleep it off as you are too furious to talk to them. A touch, a hug, or a kiss is all it takes to comfort someone. I want to tell you about a little-known aspect of male psychology, which has a huge impact on how men perceive their romantic partners. What could be even better than forgiving your partner? Talking. -I'm sorry for what I said/did. The reason being is that it means some difficult times are ahead for you personally and also for your relationship. And its something most women dont know anything about. When we are in a relationship where our partners don't care about us and our lives, it can be very easy to slip into a way of life where you believe you are not worthwhile and not desirable. Feeling angry can make us feel 'tough', and can be like an armour keeping away more hurt. When this psychological trigger is activated, it can release deep feelings of power, strength and purpose inside a man. Pearl Nash If that is what happens in your relationship and marriage, you want to then take stock of the situation and decide whether you have a future together or not. So weve covered the warning signs that he simply doesnt care about you anymore Im sure it wasnt a pleasant read especially if you resonated with some of the points. And over time, resentment mixed with anger can turn into hatred. //