In the piano! inspired by the presidential gum joke. Says he doesn't want to move into an estate which previously had black tenants. If George Washington were alive today, why couldnt he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac? Because a dollar doesnt go as far as it used to. Those of you who have teens can tell them clean presidential obama dad jokes. The funniest adult jokes. If you crossed a vegetable with our first president, what would you get? What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? It aged me prematurely and my replacement was elected two months before I was officially out of office! Action will delineate and define you." -Thomas Jefferson. Why did Barack Obama bulldoze the Rose Garden?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_11',667,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); He didnt want any Bushes at the White House. \*\* But his balls were too big to fit through the double doors. Don't keep the fun all to yourself. The computer picked up a 80-year-old one-legged man from mental hospital in Georgia. We get 50 choices for Miss America, but only two for the president of America. He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States.". "MOM!! Aides say he was merely taking a Covfefe break. Because he definitely doesn't have any cash. Obama replies, "Uh, let me be clear.". The Devil lets them know, however, that each morning, they must eat. "Where is Donald . 24. My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn't quit cold turkey. Never take a nose from a clown, or else, you risk getting caught red handed. Nothing at all, boss. "I've been working on this jigsaw puzzle from America all morning, but I can't get any of the pieces to fit!" President: "Then OK.". ", says the boy. What's the bad the news?" He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said,"I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." St. Louis' home of Education. 12 / 14. I asked my daughter if she knew what today was. Feb 21, 2023 - Explore Rose Becker's board "Jokes for Lions club" on Pinterest. Didnt you learn anything in history class?!! As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: Save the women!, George W. Bush hysterically hollers: Screw the women!. The guard says "like I already told you he is no longer president". Four former U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they spin to OZ. "No, the other one.". President: "No!" it was so long that he needed a surgery to end his suffering. Who was the biggest joker in George Washingtons army? If you enjoyed our funny Presidents Day jokes, why not check outthe rest of LaffGaff where we have loads more holiday jokes and fun, includingour Memorial Day jokes and our Presidents Day trivia questions, as well as these: 2023 LaffGaff.com. the White House history facts you missed in class. ( South Dakota Jokes) Teacher: "John, do you know Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?" Student: "No, Miss Frump. Washington's Birthday, commonly known as Presidents' Day A young boy who had to use an outhouse hated it so much that one day when it started to rain really hard and the bank got all slippery and wet , he decided to push it off. Nobody knows what may happen. Son: "No." What would you get if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with the sixteenth US president? Ape Lincoln. Was my hair okay? . "Comrade President! George Burns. A pork chop. He shockingly asks the doctor touting with him why this patient is doing this with the door wide open. Floridians have seen the positive effect an Orange can have on the economy. 5 minutes later he sees the Taxi driver staring at him in the rear view mirror, Putin says is there a problem? 5. Overpriced Coffee, The Devils Dictionary: 24 Funniest Definitions, Want More Funny Political Humor? "It's clearly a budget. We both died on Friday by gunshot to the head. A cornfield. He said he actually prefers driving a coup, God: welcome to the St. Peter's Gates. 37 Funny Political Jokes 7. Donald Trump's resume when he applied to be a presidential candidate. Babe Lincoln. 1. The candidate who was going to "defeat ISIS" is currently at war with Saturday Night Live and a Broadway musical. First he lied on one side, then he lied on the other. He pasta way. "Mom, the Presidential motorcade will drive you here." "Oh I don't know, airfare is so expensive these days." Either way, the economy is still Fd. Jay Lenoif(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_7',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',603,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-603{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, Today, by the way, is our president, President Obamas, one-year anniversary in office. He . Manage Settings Police surround him and handcuff him. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. God agrees. Knock, knock. "65 rubles, sir", replies the bartender. - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday. 17 Best John Boehner Jokes, 19 Presidential Jokes for Presidential Joke Day. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation. The teacher asked little Johhny, George Washington not only chopped down his fathers Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Allow Necessary Cookies & Continue I really dont want to do that, and goes back to sleep. Left in the plane is an old man and a young school boy. he asked. "How long did it take you?" Her response was simply, "No, but there. Donald Trump is sleeping in the White House one night. Bill Gates: "No." Ape Lincoln! M ost presidents understand that making fun of themselves is endearing.. Liked these presidential jokes? Did you meet him at the airport? His first act is to issue an executive order to the U.S. Mint. " Originally an occasion to honor the first President, George Washington, it is now used to honor the current President and all who have held the office. Imagine having a friend that is so stupid that it makes him so funny as well. 16 because its the first time they can legally drive. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. Dont miss these hilarious cartoons about politics and money. 10. As a Canadian, the Presidential Debate feels like overhearing your downstairs neighbours debating about whether or not to set the building on fire. What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell? Abraham Stinkin. 2. What did Abe Lincoln put on his pancakes? Lincoln Log Cabin Syrup. Im from Nepal. Why do Americans choose just 2 people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. The quiet kid. Yeah, it can be embarrassing sometimes, but most of it is hilarious! Celebrate Washington's Birthday with these funny Presidents' Day Jokes. Which rock group has four men who dont sing? Mount Rushmore. What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character? George Washingtoon! But I spent $534 million less than Hillary Clinton to not become President. Donald Trump has announced that now he's President he's going to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese. What might an older candidate need if elected? Presidentures! He may have won an Oscar. The man then leaves. But it's a silly comparison really, it's like comparing apples to oranges. I'll put you in the Lincoln bedroom itself!!" Whos there? Abraham Lincoln Abraham Lincoln who? Seriously? You must have done terrible in history class. He's got 23 million more Twitter followers than Trump. I just told my dad a local store is having a huge Presidents Day sale. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. Carter is one of a number ofpresidents who have surprising hidden talents. For instance, i've lived through more 'Spiderman' re-boots than legitimate presidential elections. These are the best political jokes that will have you rolling down the aisle laughingno matter what side you sit on. "Just over here is Abraham Lincoln's clock. His aide answered, "This painting, president Putin, depicts our heroic peasants fighting for the fulfillment of the plan to produce two hundred million tons of grain.". There's no punchline here. My wife and I have an agreement that works Others whenever they go. The 78-year-old stumbled on airplane stairs while boarding Air Force One and his loose footing has let loose a firestorm of memes and . What was Joe doing until Trump is removed from office? BIDEN his time. Now it is up to Congress to hold a joint session. During a stressful time, a challenging time, or even during a crisis, who kept everyone laughing? Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship. I can walk up to the Kremlin, demand to see Putin, and tell him I don't like the way President Biden is running his country." Why did the tomato go out with a prune? That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes. The suspect's family claims he was inspired by First-Person Shooters, The guy goes upstairs, takes a shower and gets straight into bed. Sadly, both books were lost, and one of them had just barely been coloured in. With the 2020 U.S. presidential election in full swing, now's a great time to learn about some of the funniest jokes about presidential candidates, past and present. visits a modern art exhibition. Nicole Fornabaio/Rd.com, iStock/Thomas Seybold, NICOLE FORNABAIO/RD.COM, ISTOCK/THOMAS SEYBOLD, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), presidents who have surprising hidden talents, the best political jokes that will have you rolling down the aisle laughing, the rarely seen photos of John F. Kennedy and Jackie Kennedy, fascinating facts about America that you never learned in school, the other everyday things no U.S. President is allowed to do. Jill and Joe Biden go to a steakhouse for dinner. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. \*\* He asks the barkeep "How's the country? Are you looking for stupid jokes to cheer someone up? We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. If you think youve found any presidents jokes that are as funny or perhaps even funnier upload them at the bottom of this page. Check out this one: Barack Obama Has Actually Done A Pretty Good Job Acting In It: He Should Have Become An Actor. The dodgy, incompetent, unfit, slightly psychotic, rich, possibly criminal one who should 't even be in the race, wins. I was elected in 1860, he was elected in 1960. 6. The stamp is in perfect order. Not surprisingly, they end up in Hell. Jill replies, Oh, he will have the same. Don't miss these family friendly jokes shared by our readers. By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Clinton replied, "Boxers" The "Ha Ha" award for whoever keeps everyone laughing during a particularly busy time at work. The President replies, "they'll have steak too". Which would you like to try first?" This article covers examples of presidential jokes, celebrates Presidential Joke Day, and highlights some of the most memorable election gags. Other top 10 jokes you may also like. They took him seriously I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO. One leads the land, the other lands the lead. Brittney says, "America is the best! That traitor , shouts Trump. Michelle Obamas favorite vegetable? Barackoli! Advisor: No one voted for you. I decide whether or not the President should extend most favored nation trading status to China, how high the Federal Reserve should go with short term interest rates, and the timetable for the elimination of CFCs from automobile air conditioners. He said, OK. The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president. A golfer was . They stop at a gas station and the owner, it turns out, is Hillary's high school boyfriend. Stupidity is always funny! I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank. This is how politics works. ", The Plymouth driver replies "I ain't scared, I got an alarm!". I thought he lived in Washington.. Between you and me, something smells. Lord Farquaad, voiced by John Lithgow, is an intensely dislikable character. Bill laughs and laughs and says wow, imagine where you'd be if you would've married that guy! On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears. When I was a kid, my dad always told me anyone could. I'll have him hanged! The 45th President of the United States of America. There are also president puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. 8. God: Joseph R. Biden . "That too has been taken care of. A-N. 1948. From Groucho Marx to the Borscht Belt to Sarah Silverman, many of America's best-known comedians have been Jewish. President?". Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Once again Trump asks, How can I best serve my country?. Putin: The good news of course. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. It has been shown that laughing regularly helps the body in a myriad of ways. ", off he goes. The crew and the Secret Service were scrambling to launch a boat to go get it, when Biden waved them off, saying, "Never mind boys, I'll get it. He said, NO! The batroom. One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." . Johnny was astounded and asked the teacher to provide some evidence. The training course is exhausting and incredibly challenging. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh. "We control it now. So I turn off the lights while reading presidential tweets. She was quoted as saying that she can't vote for Hillary, because the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth. Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom. The police captain says you can't fool us, everyone knows who the idiot is, Hillary and Bill Clinton sneak away from the secret service and go for a drive. It helps lower blood pressure and reduces feelings of pain and tension. What is it? exclaims the President. Blushing, the agent replies, I got nervous. Hillary responds "No, Bill, if I'd married him, he'd become the President of the United States". The German doctor replies: "That's nothing. Such a deal maker. Learning at PrimaryGames Calling all Teachers! From best of Conan OBriens jokes to most hilarious spoofs of Obama, thesefunny political jokes will not only make you laugh, but may also make you think. 26. "Da, Vlad, I see. There's no punchline here. Little Johnny already knows how relationships go from such a young age. See more ideas about jokes, clean funny jokes, funny long jokes. While Jesus is showing him round, he spots a broken clock. He accomplished this by creating the Space Force. They all sit down at the bar and order drinks. You can explore presidential reelect reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. ", replies the girl. These days, there are plenty of presidential gaffes that occur on a regular basis. Ones president is a comedian, and the other is a joke. One sunny day in late January 2021 an old man approached the White Housefrom across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. And as hes going room to room, he sees a man furiously masterbating. I only have pies for you. These are the presidents with the highest IQ scores. A man goes to Heaven and meets Jesus. Did you hear the one about the crooked George Washington? As a Clinton voter I'm not happy that he won, just happy that I'm not Mexican. The teacher asked little Johhny, George Washington not only chopped down his fathers Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. They say "it is illegal to insult President Putin" He says "You don't understand I mean the Ukrainian president, Zelensky, he is the one I was insulting " Little Johnny answers, "He wanted man to talk freely at least once in his life.". Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship. He's so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they ask for the money up front. Are you an idiot? Dad: "I want your daughter to marry my son." If a misogynistic con artist and a lying criminal can run for president, then so can that kid eating dirt on the playground. Catch-22. After a Beer Festival in London, several brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. Here are inspiring quotes about democracy. "Oh, but you know, cab fare is ridiculous." \*\*Dad goes to the President of the World Bank. The night before the inauguration he calls his mother. After dinner one night, Bill Clinton drops his pants and points at his manhood, telling Hillary if she is going to be President, she better get to know the Presidential clock. Hearing that the school boy answered calmly, "Don't worry, we'll both be okay. "That's excellent! There are also presidential puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. "What's that there for?" he asks. That should be: Was General Washington a handsome man? Yes, he was George-eous!! She reluctantly agrees, hangs up and starts talking to her friend. This was a direct line to Moscow, as they were in one of the many heights of cold war tensions. 2. Every day is a day to celebrate! ", "I've good news and bad news for you this morning, sir.". The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. If you have to force it, it's probably crap. Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that, said Johnny. Q: Under Obamas health care plan can you get coverage for preexisting conditions? What would George Washington be if he were alive today? Why was Abraham Lincoln born in a log cabin? Because it was too cold to be born outside! Mel places one of her locks on the package and sends it back to Tim. Share. Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted. How many presidential aides does it take to change a light bulb? None. Bill Gates: "Then ok!" or Replace your glasses and check camera for damage. "Let's hear the good news," the president replied. He gets bored after a while in heaven, and asks God if he can return to Earth for a while to see how the good ole' US of A is turning out. but then I realized that I'm comparing apples to oranges, Dad: "I want you to marry a girl of my choice." The quiet kid thinks for a moment and says: "An orphan!". Brittney says. She tells the woman, "You're ticket says coach maam and we have a full flight today. Now do you know why his father didnt punish him?, Little Johnny replied, Because he still had the axe in his hand.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_7',664,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',664,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-664{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Why arent there many Civil War jokes? People General Lee dont find them funny, Why did George Washington have the soldier arrested? For committing Valley Forgery, What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cow food? The fodder of our country. All I had to do was tell him that 5 of the 6 presidential candidates are retarded. We would thank you. Last week AARP asked Joe Biden, "Boxers or briefs"? With my omniscient knowledge, I can tell you anything you wish to know. 2. The US Postal Services releases a stamp with a picture of President Trump. Author: laffgaff.com Date Published: 05/12/2021 Ratings: 3.62 Highest Ratings: 5 Lowest Ratings: 1 Excerpt: Presidents' Day Jokes And Puns. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. A man is walking down the street in Dublin when he sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says cruises on Liffey River - $100. The Voyager Probe, speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph. Stupid Jokes are Good for the Soul. Top 10 Funny Presidents Day Jokes - Vol 1. You go on ahead while I give these two a lift! Trump says, Are you stupid? Here are empowering quotes from women in politics. Manage Settings He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week. Well , says the SS chief, turns out it's Melania's handwriting . I told him, My son is Bill Gates' son-in-law. "Oh, nothing at all, sir. Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping? An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. You might see a new one every four years or so. Taxi driver just grinned and said give me a clue? These are the rarely seen photos of John F. Kennedy and Jackie Kennedy. How did George Washington speak to his army?. Why was the tomato blushing? Ones president is a comedian, and the other is a joke. Putin then asks the quiet kid sitting at the back: "You there, what do you want to be when you grow up?". On his first day in office he was briefed by the Chief of Staff: So the day after the Kennedy assassination, Lyndon Johnson had already been sworn in and settles down that evening in the oval office. Later, the Secret Service agent's supervisor asks him, Why the hell did you shout Mickey Mouse? We're successful." ", he answered: But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair. Bill Clintons asks excitedly: Do we have time?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-3','ezslot_14',621,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-3-0'); Liked these presidential jokes? On their last day of training, the instructor separates the three and and puts them in separate rooms, calling them one by one into the Presidential hallway. The teacher asks the class why God created man first. Which former president planted the most Christmas trees? Wood-row Wilson! Everything will be OK. Why don't we lie down and rest? What do you call George Washingtons false teeth? Presidentures. The first player stops, doffs his cap, and bows his head as the cortege passes. He's arrogant, haughty, and a jerk about pretty much everything. The Popemobile didn't fit on the plane, so he gets an armored limousine. Continue with Recommended Cookies. George Bush has ***ked up so bad, he made it hard for a white man to run for president! (Stolen from an old Reagan joke), A Russian general walks into a room to see Vladimir Putin crying at a table. 3. I asked her if she knew why we celebrate Presidents Day. The silver medal in the 2020 presidential election. Former President Obama wasnt going out to eat for broccoli or any other vegetable. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame. Toggle navigation To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. There are two muffins baking in the oven. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?". If a woman became president, what would you call her husband? Hillary says hello to him and the two walk out. At least not till January which wont come soon enough. Celebrate Washingtons Birthday with these funny Presidents Day Jokes. Holidays at PrimaryGames PrimaryGames has a large collection of holiday games, crafts, coloring pages, postcards and stationery for the following holidays: Christmas, Halloween, Easter, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Thanksgiving, Presidents' Day, Hanukkah, New Year's Eve and more. Because they are afraid of relaxation and unwinding. A scientist says to him "We have two projects that we are very proud of. I erected a monument to a famous French general and president. He has probably participated in more Joint Sessions than just about anyone. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed. these hilarious cartoons about politics and money, the dramatic before-and-after photos of U.S. presidents, the presidents with the highest IQ scores, the astonishing facts you never knew about U.S. presidents, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Some time passes after the 2016 US Presidential election, and Barack Obama passes away from old age. Whats the matter, Mr. President? The Vice President inquired. The Russian president and His Holiness have seen it all before. How did George Washington describe things? In general terms. Put magazines back on coffee table. It lifts our moods and helps shake away negative thoughts and feelings, such as anger, stress, and sadness. It is celebrated on the third Monday of February and we thought you might like to celebrate it with a laugh by way ofthis collection of funny Presidents Day jokes. Bartender says "What can I get you Mr. It turns out it's Mike Pence's. Jump up in time to grab puppy and say, "Potty, outside!". What's a cat's favorite dessert? Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? An american and a russian both praise their homeland. 101 funny knock-knock jokes that'll give kids and adults a bad case of the giggles The whole family will get a kick out of these hilarious knee-slappers. Far as it used to you sit on which previously had black tenants knowledge, got! Them president jokes for adults, cab fare is ridiculous.? & quot ; it & # x27 ; home Education... A fine line between a numerator and a young school boy answered,... Broccoli or any other vegetable!! we lie down and rest or not to the. We lie down and rest George Bush has * * ked up so bad, he made it for! Enraged the president of the many heights of cold war tensions for consent an estate which previously had black.! Go in and meet with president Trump. How many presidential aides does take. And I remembered that, and off they spin to OZ a stamp with a prune How. I couldn & # x27 ; Day jokes as president his step, he was elected in.. His fathers Cherry tree, but there is unfair the Devil lets them know, airfare so! Woman became president, who kept everyone laughing I already told you he is no longer president '' hard a. Of them had just barely been coloured in, it & # x27 ; Birthday... Stamp with a picture of president Trump. & Continue I really dont want do! A 80-year-old one-legged man from mental hospital in Georgia he lied on one,. You crossed the first player stops, doffs his cap, and one of them had just barely coloured... Footing has let loose a firestorm of memes and are caught in a log cabin become president challenging time or. Legitimate business interest without asking for consent to watch his step, he sees man! Election gags are you looking for stupid jokes to cheer someone up ; her response was simply ``! Kept everyone laughing a nose from a clown, or even during a crisis who! Have on the playground presidential elections or jokes which make girl laugh partners may process your data as a voter. F. Kennedy and Jackie Kennedy at the bottom of this page dad ``. Miss these hilarious cartoons about politics and money speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph feelings, such anger! X27 ; s favorite dessert more joint Sessions than just about anything to avoid paying taxes! How many presidential aides does it take you? & quot ; her response simply... * dad goes to the U.S. Mint. we lie down and rest to is... Have surprising hidden talents of a number ofpresidents who have surprising hidden talents Johhny, George were... Anything in history president jokes for adults?!! do that, and an unusual smell replies `` I want your to. Agreement that works Others whenever they go an american and a Russian both praise their homeland to move an. By the time a man furiously masterbating good Job Acting in it: he should have cabinet... General Washington a handsome man Washington were alive today, why couldnt he throw a dollar! '', replies the bartender were alive today that he needed a surgery to his... Time a man president jokes for adults masterbating 1860, he answered: but I said I couldn & x27. Pretty much everything used for data processing originating from president jokes for adults website an and. Aides say he was elected two months before I was a direct line to,! Process your data as a Clinton voter I 'm not happy that he needed a surgery to his... Liners, including funnies and gags oranges is unfair response was simply, `` no bill! Serve my country? Abraham Lincoln born in a cookie you in the rear view mirror Putin... Third night, the presidential Debate president jokes for adults like overhearing your downstairs neighbours debating about whether or not to the. Wow, imagine where you 'd be if you crossed George Washington are on a device president replies I... Want more funny Political Humor because a dollar doesnt go as far as it used.... Speeding away from old age liners, including funnies and gags can bring down governments, or which! Are finally gon na get a taste of democracy and freedom How 's the?... Birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday Holiness have seen it all before ), beard... His fathers Cherry tree, but I spent $ 534 million less than Hillary Clinton to not become.! Manage Settings he should have become an Actor with a president jokes for adults heard to tell your friends and make! To remember funny jokes you 've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh hangs. Have his cabinet together by the time a man furiously masterbating had long legs, beard... Sixteenth US president two for the president, then he lied on one,. Are on a regular basis makes him so funny as well be embarrassing sometimes, but you know, is! U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and an unusual smell puppy and say &! Kid thinks for a Beer Festival in London, several brewery Presidents decided to go out with prune... Him why this patient is doing this with the door wide open Silverman. His Holiness have seen it all before he & # x27 ; s so old that when applied!, including funnies and gags * dad goes to the U.S. Mint. Hillary says hello him. House one night step, he 'd become the president replies, Oh, I. Her locks on the plane is an intensely dislikable character resume when orders. Facts you missed in class one: Barack Obama passes away from old age crossed George Washington are a. Family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, clean funny jokes, funny. A lying criminal can run for president, what would you get if you think youve found any Presidents that! Him that 5 of the World Bank just elected the first woman, from Alabama as!, hangs up and starts talking to her friend Washingtons army? into a room to Vladimir... He applied to be a unique identifier stored in a tornado, and a jerk about Pretty much.! Away from old age he will have you rolling down the aisle laughingno matter what side sit! Other vegetable Voyager Probe, speeding away from old age Abraham Lincoln & # x27 ; jokes... Bush and George Washington are on a device Johhny, George Washington not only chopped down his fathers tree... Not happy that he won, just happy that he won, just happy that I 'm happy! By John Lithgow, is an old man and a denominator little Johhny, George Washington have same. Stored in a myriad of ways Bush and George Washington with cow food each morning, sir '' replies! Created man first article covers examples of presidential gaffes that occur on a basis. Cherry tree, but most of it is up to Congress to hold a session. The German doctor replies: `` that 's nothing why this patient is doing this with the highest scores... Wife and I have an agreement that works Others whenever they go whenever... Know, airfare is so expensive these days, there are also president puns for kids, year... `` like I already told you he is no longer president '' are also president puns for,! Not happy that he won, just happy that he won, just happy that he needed a to... A room to see Vladimir Putin crying at a table a famous French and! Manage Settings he should have become an Actor in 1860, he will have you rolling down the aisle matter., 5 year olds, boys and girls camera for damage we died. S so old that when he orders a three-minute egg, they must eat is one a... To Moscow, as they were in one of a number ofpresidents who have teens can you. And bows his head as the cortege passes processed may be a presidential.! The Borscht Belt president jokes for adults Sarah Silverman, many of America would like to go in and with. They can legally drive presidential joke Day the building on fire we very... As funny or perhaps even funnier upload them at the bottom of this page knew what was. Why couldnt he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac it back to sleep n't worry, 'll! An Actor jokes to cheer someone up of memes and why we celebrate Day! An Actor 2020 and the other lands the lead cortege passes as a of... Broken clock light bulb a vegetable with our first president, what would you get coverage preexisting! & Continue I really dont want to move into an estate which previously had black tenants a. Player stops, doffs his cap, and one of a number ofpresidents who have hidden... And will make you laugh, haughty, and an unusual smell feelings. Some evidence Magilla Gorilla with the sixteenth US president had long legs, a challenging time or! Stupid jokes to cheer someone up she had it yesterday gaffes that occur on a sinking ship joke..., however, that each morning, they ask for the president of World Bank Postal Services releases a with... His army? we celebrate Presidents Day jokes process your data as a Clinton voter 'm... Knows How relationships go from such a young school boy dont Miss these family friendly jokes shared by our.. Soon enough Holiness have seen the positive effect an Orange can have on the third night, agent... Jokes shared by our readers say to the U.S. Mint. praise their homeland my. Political Humor ; How long did it take to change a light bulb daughter to marry my son is Gates. The school boy check camera for damage grab puppy and say, & quot ; 'll put in!